Karl-
Let me begin by saying that Marissa and I are
both originally from Guam and that we refer to
Marissa's previous husband as Karl # 1.
Marissa and I met in September 2003, 15 days after
the passing of her husband, on a 6- hour layover
at Tokyo international Airport. Marissa and
her mother were traveling from Guam to California
and I was traveling from Saipan to Arizona. We met
due to Marissa's mother approaching me at the airport.
Marissa's mother and I were total strangers yet
she approached me, completely out of character.
Later, Marissa's mother confided she did not know
what possessed her to approach me because she normally
does not speak to strangers but she did say something
inside of her kept telling her to approach me.
After Marissa's mother introduced
me to Marissa, I too had something inside of
me that kept telling me to ask Marissa this question. "How
has the passing of your husband affected your life?".
Her response: "My husband and I were married for
8 wonderful years. He was my best friend,
soul mate and life partner. We did everything
together. It's like when you play sports and
you give it all you've got and when you walk
away what is there to be sorry about? When
my husband died I was at peace knowing we did everything
together. Some people search their whole lifetime
for a relationship like that and some never find
it. I was very fortunate to be blessed
with Karl."
Soon after the three of us
had a long 6-hour conversation waiting for our
flights. We then
exchanged emails and phone numbers and boarded our
separate flights. One year had passed
and we both had not heard from each other. I
got engaged to be married but then the relationship
ended by mutual agreement. At this point I
told life "I don't want to be involved in another
serious relationship, I've been married before,
I've fallen in love and lost that love, I've traveled
to many places, have seen many faces and I'm surrounded
by wonderful friends and family. I surrender
all that I am and all that I am not. I give
it all back to you. I don't want this anymore.
I just want to concentrate on my career and continue
to cultivate the existing relationships I have now.
Take it back!"
(Marissa )-In the meantime,
I, Marissa got a job with a radio station in
California and said she could not get Karl #2
off her mind but could not find him. Through the auspices
of the radio station, her search for this man ended
through a contest to "Find Karl".
And find Karl she did through a friend of Karl's
mother who happened to be listening to the show
and wondered if her Karl could be the right one.
She called in and gave Marissa, Karl's mother's
number who then gave her Karl's number.
Karl- Then the next day Marissa calls and
leaves a message. I return her call and we
stay on the phone for 8 hours. We continue
to call each other every day and talk for at least
8 hours for the next couple of months. It's
during these conversations that I finally realize
that I have actually met my equal which I didn't
think possible. Marissa eventually decides
to move to Arizona.
Fate steps in and on the day
she arrives,
her older brother who in the Marines, calls Marissa
to ask her to stay with his family instead
of going to Arizona because he just got orders to
go to Iraq. If Marissa could watch over his family
while he's deployed that would put his mind to ease,
just in case something happens. Marissa agrees
to live with her brother's family until his return.
So we continue to talk on the phone everyday and
visit each other when we can. Eventually
something inside of me awakens to the realization
that I love this woman and want to spend the
rest of our lives together growing old and irritating
each other.
We have come to realize through Karl # 1 visiting
us through dreams and other means that he was
the one that brought Marissa and I together.
See, three days before Karl # 1 passed on he made
a promise to Marissa that he will always be a
part of her life and that if he should pass on
before her that he'll find another person who
could love her as much as he did. One last
note, Karl # 1 came to Marissa in a dream one
night and shared something that has profoundly
affected us. Karl # 1 shared that when a
person dies it is not simply an ending but a graduation. It
is simultaneously a beginning and an ending and
he sees clearly that life is essentially about
two things; loving and learning. Everything
else is secondary. Everything you do in
this life is fashioned so that you can both love
and learn. Marissa and I refer to each other
as classmates because we are both equals learning
in this classroom called life. That's our
story.
Thanks for listening,
Carl & Marissa
